"Two guys are on a hunting trip when one of them suddenly collapses. The other runs over, pulls out his cell, and dials 911. When the operator answers, he shouts, 'My friend just collapsed and died! What do I do?'

'First,' she calmly tells him, 'you need to make sure he's dead.' There's silence on the line for a few seconds, and then the sound of a gunshot.

'OK,' says the man to the operator, 'now what do I do?' "

-Mike

Q: How do you make a horse drink?

A: Put it in a blender!

Regarding Job Prospects at Intel Corp.:

"I bet there are very analog stuff."

-an Intel employee

Considering that, all hatred driven hence,
The soul recovers radical innocence
And learns at last that it is self-delighting,
Self-appeasing, self-affrighting,
And that its own sweet will is Heaven's will,
She can, though every face will scowl
And every windy quarter howl
Or every bellows burst, be happy still.