ksdavis@fas.harvard.edu
kevin_davis@post.harvard.edu
Plan 2.0
1. plan \'plan\ n [F, plane, foundation, ground plan; partly fr. L planum
level ground, fr.] neut. of planus level; partly fr. F planter to
plant, fix in place, fr. LL plantare - more at FLOOR, PLANT
In Internet terms, usually a list of quotations, amusing asides,
and references so subtle and confusing they oft. contain meaning
only to the owner of said list
* * *
"The only way I'd want a Democrat leading troops into Bosnia is if it was
Mike Dukakis in that tank of his."
- From a Boston Herald call-in poll.
* * *
Now be a good boy and go away. You're beginning to annoy me more than
the Japanese tourists in front of the John Harvard statue.
-- Chuck Truesdell, to Stephen "net.kook" Boursy
* * *
>It [first-year] certainly is an accurate and appropriate phrase.
True enough. But just because I can call an elephant a "massive
quadraped-pachyderm with large aural receptors, a trunk and twin tusks"
doesn't mean that it is a worthwhile thing to do.
-- Adam Levitin, on political correctness
* * *
He said that he knew it was time to get out of show business when,
during a taping of "Fantasy Island," he was yelled at by Tatoo for messing
up a line.
"I just looked down and watched him yell at me and I'm thinking,
`I've had all this success in the record business, and now I'm standing
here being bawled out by a midget.'"
-- Sonny Bono, on going from show biz to politics
(Amy M. Rabinowitz, The Harvard Crimson, 30.4.96)
* * *
''If they had a silencer and they were dressed up like Mickey Mouse, all
you would hear is a 'putt-putt.' Nobody would hear them. We might have
been this close to absolute chaos.''
-- Orlando Sheriff Kevin Beary, on a gang
plot against Disney World
* * *
Robert J Klein (rjklein@hcs.harvard.edu) wrote:
: Rick Osterberg (osterber@scws40.harvard.edu) wrote:
: : Anyone? Anyone?
: Sorry, I'd have to vote no on the grounds that it would again make
: harvard.hascs very one-sided.
how about a whole hierarchy? we could start with
harvard.hascs.fan.unixgroup
harvard.hascs.fan.advsupport-team
-- Cindy Alvarez
* * *
Back in MY day we didn't have fancy HP terminals with cool
graphics. If you wanted to send email you had to connect the wires
yourself. And if you wanted graphics, you had to take days to write a
script to draw everything out in ASCII. And you got electrocuted
sometimes connecting the wires, and without a mouse you had to type so
much that you wore your fingers down to the bone and they fell off. And
that was the way it was and we LIKED it.
-- Joshua Simer
* * *
"Someone once told me that the amount people are impressed by harvard goes [up]
proportionally as the distance from Harvard."
-- Chloe Lopez
* * *
"Wearing a Harvard ring is no different than mentioning Harvard on a
resume (which I plan on doing prominently and repeatedly)."
-- Arthur Lu
* * *
"Quit flexing. Especially when you're not even posting under your own
name. It's tacky. And I wouldn't want to have to make you feel
insignificant."
-- David Holland
* * *
"*Life* is a grey area. It's not just HASCS."
-- Rick Osterberg
* * *
Hollis does indeed appear to be dead. I'm not sure who we're supposed to
contact about that.
-- Christian Chen
* * *
Fuck yeah! I myself am a 570-pound crack addict; though officially on the
roster of the Boston Bruins, really all I do is run up and down stairs,
lift weights, and occasionally tear people's head off in order to fuck
their necks. Abusive? You bet! Once this guy looked at me and I FUCKING
KICKED HIS ASS FROM OVER TEN FEET AWAY USING MYSTERIOUS MUSCLE POWERS! His
arteries sprayed blood with such force that it was a week before I could
get the stains out of the Armenian goatherd's jacket which happens to be
the only clothing I ever wear.
For those of you who don't know who I am, just look around in lecture for
the guy who's so fucking huge he BLOTS OUT THE SUN! OSIRIS IS MY FATHER!
DRINK ME BUT SHAKE FIRST! IF YOU CAN COUNT TO TEN, YOU CAN BE EMPEROR!"
-- Aaron Mandel
* * *
Ingrid Dombrower (idombrow@fas.harvard.edu) wrote:
: anyway i guess i'm still in shock. a boyfriend and a computer gone in
: one week. too much life change.
have you tried reinstalling your boyfriend from the original disks?
-- Aaron Mandel
* * *
In other news the Harvard Dining Services building has the best security
I've seen anywhere except Heathrow airport, presumably to prevent
assassinations.
-- Dave Krinsky
* * *
Kevin Davis (ksdavis@fas.harvard.edu) wrote:
: Because it's rarely good enough to simply fix a user's problem. You
need
: to find a way of explaining the how-and-why to them, on their level, so
: that it becomes an empowering experience for them, rather than just
: another way to shell out $50 for me to come over and get a virus off of
: their system.
If you give a man a fish, you will cure his hunger for now, but if you
teach a man to fish, you will be able to let him do all the dirty work of
scaling and filleting and then gouge his eye out with a fishhook and take
his nice bass fillets for yourself.
Ah, conservative-empowerment rhetoric.
-- Willy Jay
* * *
If there's someone you love but haven't said so in a while, say it now.
Always, always, say it now.
-- Mike Royko (1932-1997)
* * *
My cat isn't automatically affectionate. She'll come to you to get pet
when you come home, but on her terms. She'll do it in the morning when you
wake up *sometimes*. Like, under special circumstances. Like, when she's
done somethign during the night that she doesn't want you to come see
right away.
Onyx: *puuuurrrr* ("pet me" nudge)
Me: Oh, there's my baby. *pet*pet*pet*
Onyx: *purr*purr*purr*
Me: (starts to get up)
Onyx: *blocks the way* *PURR*PURR*
Me: So cute. *pet*pet*pet* (starts to get up)
Onyx: (blocks the way) *PUUUURRRR* (pet me nudge)
Me: (starts to pet) (pause) Onyx, what did you do...
Onyx: (stops purring, just looks)
Me: (gets up)
Onyx: (chases, trying to get in front of me)
Me : (goes into kitchen)
No, really. I enjoy cleaning up chewed up garbage first thing in the
morning.
-- Tanisha Alicea
* * *
A man cannot be said to have been liberally educated because he
has studied art or literature, or because he knows something the
Philistines do not know. One honest commentator on the college experience
has said, "It is important to note that education had made no fundamental
moral difference in me, except to intensify my egotism and inflate my
pride." The liberally educated man is not basically different from other
people, or better by nature or more attractive. He may even be less so.
But he should be less ignorantly wicked or petty, and less self-assertive.
Increased knowledge should have made him more reasonable, thoughtful, and
constructive than he would have been had he not come to college. And so
better prepared for citizenship in a democracy. He is liberally educated
because he knows more readily than he otherwise would when he is acting
rationally and fairly, and on the basis of reliable information, and when
he is not, and because he deliberately wants so to act and makes every
effort to do so. Trained in analysis, aware of the treacheries that can
be played by self, practiced in judgement, animated by enduring human
condition, he wants not just to live but to do so in the tradition of
those who have lived with honor.
-- Nathan Marsh Pusey
* * *
When I have to watch TV to get social comment or a moral message, I will
just shoot myself.
-- Fred Owens
* * *
sigh. it is a .mil site. probably a bad idea.
-- Mike Ryan, on why it would be
bad to give the ping-of-death
to a Net-asshole
* * *
Well, that beats yesterday's Harvard College Library picnic all to heck.
-- Ny Martin, responding to a post
about another person's getting drunk
and having a great time at a party
* * *
You know what's reassuring about all this? It means that we're not even
close to the point where computers take over mankind... because what would
happen is, the computer would start to say, 'Humans must be elimina --' and
then a watch would come up, and it would be on for years while we had time to
disconnect the computer.
-- Conan O'Brien, waiting for Netscape
to load a page
* * *
I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the
accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service. For
the transit system, as it now operates, has hidden advantages that
can't be measured in monetary terms.
Personally, I feel that it is well worth 75 cents or even $1 to have
that unimpeachable excuse whenever I am late to anything: "I came by
subway." Those four words have such magic in them that if Godot should
someday show up and mumble them, any audience would instantly
understand his long delay.
-- Unknown
* * *
If I had a .plan
I'd go out on the ocean.
And if a had a pony (Apologies to L. Lovett)
I'd ride it on my .plan.
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean,
Just me upon my pony on my .plan.
* * *
As Lott likes to tell Evangelical audiences, one of the rabbis wanted to
know how many red cows it would take to produce, in Israel, the kind of
heifer described by Numbers 19.
"Approximately two hundred cows." Lott said.
"How much per cow?"
"Of this extremely high quality, about two thousand dollars a head."
When Richman translated the figure into Hebrew, it caused a heated
response among the other rabbis. Lott asked what was wrong.
"Twenty thousand a head is a lot of money," Richman said.
"We didn't say twenty thousand, we said two thousand," Lott replied.
''We're not trying to take advantage of you as you seek to turn back to
God."
-- Lawrence Right
* * *
How UA attempted to resolve:
panicked and ran around until people told me what to do
-- Alisha Creel
* * *
"All I have to say is, only at Harvard will you hear the words, 'Was that
last slide Byzantine?' from the mouths of those fleeing for their lives."
-- Jessica Kirshner, on pfoho-open, about the Science Center bomb scare
* * *
i've always found that the best way to get from my apartment to the
science center is via sweden. it's good to see that at&t is routing
my packets the same way.
-- Nick Rodriguez
* * *
Chris Conlon, I want you to have my babies! Smooches, A.
-- Alisha Creel
* * *
One opposing coach whose team lost to Cambridge in the New England
regional playoffs - he and his squad shall remain nameless - was so
frustrated that at one point he yelled at the Cambridge players to ''go
back to the slum city you came from.'' The remark not only startled team
members (and upset league officials) for its insensitivity, it also
stunned many of the parents in attendance. As one said later, ''We were
thinking of sending the guy some current real estate listings. Which slum
was he talking about, Brattle Street?''
-- Joseph Kahn, The Boston Globe,
August 23, 2001
* * *
Defragmenting is really something that you can't do while doing other
things on the computer. It's like showering... you can't really do
homework or eat or talk to your friends, but it's good for you
nonetheless.
-- Alisha Creel
* * *
"The big innovation of XP is that it has a back door that sucks out all
your proprietary information and presents it to Microsoft to sell back to
you or any retailer. That's the big innovation of XP - a back door. By
the way, it still runs all your favorite viruses."
-- Scott McNealy (Sun Microsystems)
* * *
As for what the Unix people will do to you if one of your processes takes
the entire system down? Well, after they kill the process, they will:
(1) become root and jump into your home directory, and modify your .login
such that when you next log in you read "[YOUR NAME IN CAPS]!!! Come see
Alan Sundell immediately to receive a beating."
(2) snicker at your pathetic knowledge of Unix evident in your .login and
other scripts
(3) gather all of the full-time staff to laugh endlessly at you the next
time you show your mortified face in B-13
(4) beat you mercilessly with their library of O'Reilly books
(5) chain you in front of a Sun Ray until you rewrite whatever system
utility you exploited to crash the system (e.g., forwardmail), regardless
of whether you develop RSI in the process.
Moral of the story: don't do it!!!
-- Brian Schoenbeck
* * *
This is an important point for thesis writers: don't save the only copy of
your thesis on a disk. Save it to a hard drive and to your fas account.
Otherwise you will cry. And your friends will cry with you and then when
you leave the room they'll all talk about what a stupid shmuck you are.
-- Alisha Creel
* * *
My dad's Athlon XP 1800+ setup w/ EP-8KHA+ caught fire when my foot
accidentally knocked the power button when I was installing a water cooler
on the CPU to overclock it. Thankfully, I had a pitcher of water for the
water cooler by my side. So I quickly poured the water onto the
motherboard and CPU. They are both ruined and I am trying to get a refund.
-- Some moron on Anandtech
* * *
David Sobel describes "Tabulizing" the Portal. David Heitmeyer rolls his
eyes and then gives him a look of askance.
-- Paul Bergen, on my.harvard
* * *
Here's the difference: They don't use e-mail. They use instant messenger.
My one daughter will be talking to the other daughter downstairs on IM. My
other daughter is going to college in Pittsburgh, and they know what she's
doing at any given time because they're all on IM together. And then
there's me: I feel IM is repugnant. It's intrusive, and I couldn't get any
work done if I had it on.
This is the new kind of digital divide--those who opt into this culture
and those who get into all the privacy stuff. Each one is a different
species. The cultures are predicated on privacy, or more accurately,
online identity.
-- David Holtzman
* * *
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