Our story starts in Washington, D.C., where Jack Valenti, head of the Motion Picture Association of America, is finishing his impassioned testimoney before a Senate Committee about the need for stronger copyright laws.
 


 

It seemed that the Senate Panel had been persuaded ...
 


 

... when suddenly, someone stepped into the room.


 

Yes, it was Valenti's arch-nemesis. Jonathan Zittrain.


 

Valenti immediately appealed to the Senate Panel to dismiss Zittrain from the hearings.


 

But the Senate Panel wanted to hear what Zittrain had to say.

Prof. Zittrain proceeded to amaze the Senators with his presentation of the issues and the evidence.


 

Zittrain had won over the Senators, and Valenti was not happy.


 

Aware that he could not win on the merits of his argument, Valenti realized he would have to resort to "other means". He quickly whispered something to his assistant.

It didn't take long for Valenti's cheap thugs to find Zittrain.


 

But little did the thugs or Valenti know that before he was taken out of his office, Zittrain was able to send an email to the only person he knew who would be able to rescue him ...


 

When Mr. T read Zittrain's email, he got very angry.


 

It didn't long for Mr. T to figure out that Jack Valenti was behind the abduction. Mr. T traced down Valenti, and confronted him outside an awards show.
 

Mr. T had had enough. He grabbed Mr. Valenti, threw him into the black van, and drove over to a local carnival. Mr. T knew that Valenti would not be able to take ... the water dunk.


Valenti told Mr. T where Zittrain was being held. But Mr. T was not done with Valenti.

With Valenti safely out of the way, there was one thing left to do. Mr. T rescued Prof. Zittrain, returning him safely to Harvard.


 

Mr. T, who had always had an interest in Cyberlaw, took Zittrain up on his offer. Zittrain and Mr. T became great friends.
 


 

Mr. T's influence on the Berkman Center was subtle, yet significant:

The End.
 

Return to the Cyberlaw 2005 Class Wiki

"Mr. T vs. Jack Valenti"
(co-starring Jonathan Zittrain)

was created, er, "derived", in 2005
with absolutely no one's permission
by Francis Shen